But don't read the article (actually do it, because it's like The Onion but for reals):
If I believed in an off-planet deity, I'd be invoking it/his/her name right about now. I'd be saying, "Good God, Sun, are you FOR REALZ?" Just like that.
Sun Man Nick Francis looks mighty frightened of that Bull Terrier. He's appropriately serious about the dog dangling at the end of his collar. But it's not Sun Man Nick Francis I find laughter-inducing, it's that supposed gang member. Look at him. Those eyes! Are we supposed to take him seriously? I. Just. Cannot. I'm sorry gang member person, but your wide-eyed look is less crazed and more deer-in-headlights. And you're killer dog? The one who's mauled like fifteen other gang members and scuffles with other canines? Yeah, well, sorry, but Not Impressed. I can tell you are holding him up by his collar and he is all DUDE I HAS TO HAVE THE OXYGEN and you think it's so cool. He doesn't. He's not lunging, you nimrod, he's just dangling there and no one is impressed.
Anyways, I tried SOOOOO HARD to take The Sun seriously. But I cannot. Not ever.
I don't think any of those people are gang members. I think it's all staged and exaggerated and fake. And if it's for real, geez, I hate to say it, but are people scared of these idiots?
One more thing.
"Chris and his gang all own what they say are pit bull and English bull terrier-type crosses"
I love your blue gloves. Is that your gang's color? It's awesome. But you are an idiot. Your dog is a Bull Terrier. The other dogs pictured are Staffordshire Bull Terriers and another Bull Terrier. Not a Pit Bull among the bunch. There is no American Pit Bull Terrier pictured.
Your dog and the dogs pictured are legal and not covered by the 1991 Dangerous Dog Act. So your street creds have gone down like 1000%, where your Pit Bull at?
I have one. She's a ninja. By default, she kicks your non Pit Bull's butt. Evidence here:
Try topping that, Chris. You just can't. My Pit Bull is freaking illegal in your country and is called a Devil Dog. Your dog? He's a roman-nosed loser who has the silliest smile evar and is called a Bull Terrier. My Pit Bull can also kill a stuffy in 6 months. HA! TORTURED STUFFY! You cannot beat that. You may try, but you will fail, Chris. Sorry.
Dear Sun Commenters,
Peoples! Calm down. Don't take The Sun article seriously. In fact, just pretend it's a bad form of satire.