How to Fail Critically Endangered Species'

There is an animal species that is at 3-20% of its original population. In four decades, the population of this animal species declined 85-97%.

It is on the cusp of extinction.

So if you are the creators and maintainers of the only international agreement on preserving endangered species, what do you do?

Do you:
A) Give that species the most protection in order to rebuild the population?
B) Eat the flesh of the critically endangered species during the vote and just go with your taste buds?
C) Heed the special interests of multi-billion dollar industries who really love hunting this species?
D) Sell your soul and do B) and C)?

If you are the member organizations of CITES, you do D!

The Atlantic Bluefin Tuna is getting closer and closer to extinction. CITES is the Convention on Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. They met recently to discuss what species they should be adding to their list of protected animals. Countries must adhere to certain requirements once an animal species is placed on this list.

And this year, the marine species were basically told to just go die already. We apparently don't need apex predators in our oceans.

Bluefin tuna, critically fucking endangered species here, lost big time. In fact, Japanese delegates served bluefin tuna the night before the vote. I mean, why not just have polar bear skin rugs and tiger penises available to delegates as well?

Also big losers were the sharks. A TRAFFIC member, who was there at the convention, had a good analogy. Imagine this: You trap a tiger (critically endangered, yo). You chop off his legs for, I dunno, femur-soup. And then you throw the still living tiger back into the woods. That is what happens to finned sharks. They are caught, their fins are cut off, and then, fully conscious and still alive, they are thrown back into the ocean. Nice. Well, none of the eight species of sharks up for increased protection were given that protection.

You know who won? The Kaiser's Spotted Salamander. No more trading of those adorable little amphibians.

Now why does a little newt magically get protection but bluefin tuna don't?

Japan v. Random Internet Person.

Turns out if you have a multi-million/billion dollar industry that relies on the extirpation of 9 species of marine animals, you are as good as gold. Sell salamanders on the internet?-Fuck you, no more of that silly business, we gots us a seriously endangered species here.

What a sorry state of affairs.