When Grown Men Scream

No one in Oakland has ever seen a gopher snake. Or a 4' snake.

So this is what happens when one makes a debut - two grown men scream while flinging the snake around with a golf club.

I want all you country folk to know that not all us city folks are screaming wimps. Take Minnie. She is a 4' gopher snake who I caught bare-handed a few years ago. She is one of three gopher snakes I have personally handled with my bare hands. I don't really advise doing that. The largest was 5.5' long. He was big and heavy and angry. The 3' one was tough as nails and decided s/he was going to eat my arm. They're constrictors, you know. Another staff member had to prise her/him off of me. I love my city living but equally adore my country work.

Of course, Minnie isn't from Oakland, she lives out in Vacaville, CA. The houseyard of the sanctuary is her favorite spot. She comes back every year. They have unique markings and coloration, you know, so I might be telling the truth that the last 4.5' snake I accidentally stepped on was actually Minnie. She didn't move an inch.

If I were those two men, I'd be embarrassed. I'd be embarrassed if those two men were women too. If you're going to handle a snake, do it with a straight back and some confidence, for cripes sake. Otherwise, just don't do it. If I can wrangle a gopher snake in less than two minutes, anyone can. Forty five minutes is ridonculous. RIDONCULOUS.