Friday, April 16, 2010

Raccoons the size of Orange Tang!

The Chicago Sun-Times is, I think, creating a problem where one does not actually exist (the foreclosure cause might exist).

Or, if it does, then biologists everywhere should be flocking to Chicago to check out these orangutan-sized raccoons!

A woman in Chicago is concerned because raccoons have invaded her neighborhood. These are not just any raccoons, though. They are the size of "orangutangs". The correct spelling is orangutans. I know this may blow your mind, but they are not actually named after Tang.

Maybe all the raccoons look like Bandit here, a really fat raccoon who weighs more than 70 lbs. If they are, then sure, they are close in size to small orangutans. But generally speaking, raccoons aren't all that large. They certainly are not the size of orangutans.

I don't mess with raccoons. They are clever and have sharp nails. I once saw one cleave a plastic garbage bin in half. I said to myself, self, that's not an animal to mess with. I have lived by that credo ever since. Saved my life. I kid. But really, leave the raccoons alone.


Pibble said...

Do you think this might lead to RSL (Raccoon Specific Legislation)? Or, maybe they can start small, perhaps with a spelling bee?

Anonymous said...

Orangutans? where do they get this sh**?

of course most people only know orangs from the babies they see in movies. Not that racoons are as big as them, either! An adult orang is humongous..

but hey, at least they didn't compare them to rampaging pit bulls...

Schwang said...

Yes, we have football-sized rats out here, but I think the raccoons are an exaggeration...

Retrieverman said...

Them Orange Tangs is big critters.

But not half as fierce as raccoons are.

They sometimes kill full-sized coonhounds that are hunting them. Sometimes they grab them by their tongues and then jerk it out. This will kill a dog, because dog have to have tongues to make them drink.

Only dogs and wolves will mess with a raccoon. Coyotes will not. (Probably because they have sense.)

I've got lots of raccoon stories, but I'll leave those for my blog!