Live Blogging Halloween 2014

Hi!

I'm Mina.

I'm a freaking skunk. And tonight, I'm live blogging Halloween 2014 IN THE RAIN.

7:16pm: Guys and ghouls, you may not know this but Swedish Fish are the next big thing. A black kitten and a teddy bear both declared, "I got a whole package of Swedish Fish. A whole package!" A whole package, according to the minion, contains like 5 swedish fish.

7:09 pm: A blue fairy has a deep discussion with the minion.
Minion: Hi! Which one do you want?
Blue fairy: *stares at bowl*
Minion: *points at lollipop* This one?
BF: No.
M: *points at Smarties* This one?
BF: No.
M: *points at nerds* This one?
BF: No.
M: *points at sour patch kids* This one?
BF: *proudly smiles* Yes!
Everyone is happy. Except me, because blue fairy didn't pick me.

6:59 pm: Zombie police officer did not arrest me for smelling bad. She didn't eat me, either.

6:48 pm: So far the most hilarious part of Halloween 2014 is the puddle in front of the minion's house. Many children have faced the puddle and have failed to successfully cross the puddle. I applaud the puddle.

6:27 pm: Guys and gals, ghosts and ghouls, this is possibly the most boring Halloween ever!! Usually by now th...oh wait, hold on. Okay, a cowboy just told my human minion (in a high pitched timbre), "You have a PUDDLE in your driveway. DID YOU KNOW THIS? You should do something about it." Haha, minion got schooled!

6:13 pm: An oversized superman toddler declared I was a DOG in a high-pitched squeal. I agreed. Then his mom kept telling him not to jump in puddles, "No! No! No puddles!" I agreed.

5:54 pm: Everyone wears masks. No one pets me. This is a day of great mourning and sads for me.

5:45 pm: No one pet me this time. NO ONE. What is wrong with these kids? Also it took a ghost 25 seconds to decide between pink nerd and purple ones. Then he grabbed the pink ones and said "purple!" Was he colorblind?

5:08: Four adorable kids arrived. I mean, I guess only three were adorable. One didn't even acknowledge my presence so obviously something wrong with him. The little princess proclaimed me a SKUNK! and then pat me on the head. That was cool.

I Have No Excuse For This Costume Injustice

Every year, I spend between $15-20 on two costumes. One is for a dog who will wear it for a 3-minute photo shoot. The other is for a dog who will wear it on Halloween and convince some people Pit Bulls are pretty neat when they wear clothes.

I have no excuse for why I do this, except I selfishly like it and how embarrassingly awful is that? I guess if I was really mean, I'd make Celeste wear a costume for Halloween, but I don't. Mina tolerates it all well and loves Halloween because children sometimes sneak her sticky fingers to lick or dog cookies to eat. Sometimes they pet her and tell her she is pretty.

It was probably about eight years ago I started sticking Mina in Halloween costumes. This was the point in her life when trick-or-treaters scared her, so I'd leash her up and treat her like mad when kids came to the door. The year before, a parent told his children to not go near me and the dog. Mina wasn't in a costume and she was apparently so frightening to this father that he taught his children to fear (also, no candy, so sad).

Thereafter, I started dressing her up each Halloween. As the years have passed, she has become a fan of the evening, going so far as to tug herself to the door to see the children. The first year I dressed her up, the parents went nuts. Two even had their kids pose with Mina for a photo shoot. When asked what kind of dog she was, I didn't hesitate to say Pit Bull because the damage was done, the kids had touched the dog, the picture was taken.

Since then, no one has reacted poorly to Mina or her breed. Or maybe I've learned to ignore anything negative,  maybe my love for Mina acts as a pair of rose-colored glasses.

Whatever it is, there are no "ifs ands or buts" when it comes to dressing Mina up for Halloween and letting her greet the trick-or-treaters. It is done because it is good for Mina to associate fun things with crazy kids and it is good for Pit Bulls because Mina is so damn polite and sweet with the children. When I am honest, I secretly (now publicly I guess) hope for a day when my own adopted human child will emerge from her room crowned in gaudy sequins or spandex tights or whatever her heart fancies and Mina will be there to give her kisses and lean into her, loving the small, human creature.

Until then. :)

I turn my head away from this horror.

I has a signal?

INJUSTICE

Oh. An Angel.

Howl-O-Ween - Or How I Torture My Dogs

Before anyone claims I'm showing a bias here, let's start with Celeste and her big fat fail as a honey-bee of lurve.


You can pretty much tell she is unhappy with the whole situation, but not just a "woe is me" unhappiness...a more SINISTER feeling lurks beneath!

EVIDENCE OF SINISTERNESS

Soo. I kindly asked Mina to refrain from doing cute things, like giving nose kisses to Celeste, and then I tortured her!


Mina is perfect as a honey-bee. She is saving the world through cute pollination.


Yeah, try to overcome that level of cute. You can't.


This is Celeste's costume, but she didn't even gets to wear it. Mina does, because she is channeling her inner insect.



My dogs rule.

Halloween 2009, starting early

Last year, I failed at Halloween. This, according to Mina, was an excellent thing. Mina has been a pumpkin, a cow and a skunk. Celeste has been a piglet (if you click this link, you will get to see a portrait of Celeste as a young artiste).

This year, I had planned an epic ninja v. pirate battle. Actually, I had planned this for 2008, purchased the costumes and then didn't follow through. And I could not find a pirate outfit, so I bought a lobster one instead. For the ninja outfit, I got a kid's costume and my mom rigged it up for a dog.

A pirate v. ninja battle would have been pretty awesome; a lobster v. ninja battle, not so much. I mean, there isn't any real question as to who would kick ass (the ninja, for your clueless people).


Behold, ninja. lobster. epic. 2009.

HARDCORE NINJA MINA

GOOFY LOBSTER/CRAYFISH CELESTE

STEALTH-MODE NINJA MINA

LOBSTER VOMITING UP CELESTE

And please do not think for one moment that these will be the only photographic evidence of Halloween 2009. There will be more. Much more.

Unless my dogs kill me. Rightfully so, I might add.