The Chicken Show: Touching Snow

I want to preface this video with something - these hens have experienced firsts that you and I take for granted. (And by "take for granted", I mean basic necessities we may expect, like being able to walk outside our homes if we want...I don't mean we take for granted perching on hay bales or anything). They were rescued from an egg farm four months ago.

Since then, these are some of the firsts they've experience:

• Touching the earth - these hens lived in wire metal cages so small they could not spread their wings.
• Breathing fresh(er) air - on the egg farm, the fecal matter dropped from the cages was NEVER removed. It stood 3.5 feet high, nearly brushing the cages. The stench was unbearable. I know, I was there.
• Perching - chickens have an instinctive desire to hop up on something above the ground at night. For 2 years, they lived in a cage and had no access to perches.
• Nesting - I wish there was a comparable instinctive behavior in humans, so you could relate more. For a hen, nesting is VITAL to her well-being. A cage provides no nest.
• Feeling the sun - while they lived in an open-sided shed, they never had direct access to sunlight or sunbathing.
• Dustbathing - another innate behavior chickens engage in to reduce parasite loads.
• Choices! - can you imagine living in an airplane, seatbelted into your seat...for two years? Probably not, but you can probably understand that your choices would be very limited. Now these hens can decide which stall to sleep in, where to lay an egg, who to hang out with,  etc.

And now, for the first time ever, these hens experienced snow! It's quite a joy to watch.

These hens are from Animal Place. (And to be clear, I work for Animal Place as their education director and am totally biased in favor of these awesome birds).

When I was in college, I was vegetarian. I ditched dairy in honor of a mother cow and her stolen baby - her bellow of sorrow left its mark. If witnessing the separation of mother from child was the norm for the dairy industry, what about the egg industry? I researched and bore witness and decided eggs were not necessary for my survival...but omitting them from my diet was a just decision and an act of compassion for the hens and rooster chicks (the 150-200 million ground up alive upon hatching). These hens lived two years in misery, driven nearly insane from deprivation and torture. That they now leap in joy, explore in curiosity, stumble forth and touch snow? What a freaking amazing gift, world.

The Mina Show - The Seizure

It's been one full week since Mina had her first-ever seizure.

The seizure was a terrifying experience, more for me than for Mina. Curled up next to me, Mina suddenly arched back. She was star-gazing, her head arched back staring vacantly off into space. I thought she was choking, it mimicked that one other terrifying moment years past when I had to pull a chunk of food from her nearly unconscious, twitching form. I found nothing in her mouth.

The panic set in, my belief she was dying so entrenched that I just started screaming her name and shaking her. I was at my parents, visiting over Thanksgiving, and my dad had to physically pull me away. Mina flopped to her side, her front legs paddling wildly. And all I could do was cry her name.

It was a long ten seconds. She was unconscious during the seizure and when she awoke, it was to three of her favorite people comforting her. Confused, she could only remain on the couch. It took about three hours for her to completely recover.

I imagine if you are used to the horror of a seizure, you develop coping mechanisms. I also imagine that for many people the first time witnessing a seizure, well, it must have been my same experience - watching someone you love lose control of their bodies, spasms wracking their body.

Mina is fine now. I am left wondering what to do. She has not had another seizure. Her sleep patterns have altered since the seizure. When she falls asleep, she goes under deeper and takes longer to come out of it. I don't know if there is any correlation but it is the only odd behavior change I've seen.

I took her to the vet for bloodwork and chest x-rays (heart disease can cause seizures too). Her heart and chest look great. Her liver and kidney levels are fine. Her thyroid is low but she is already hypothyroid, on medication, and it is an unlikely cause of a seizure.

So I'm left with the unknown. I don't care for that feeling too much.

Plant Based on a Budget - Risotto with Kale

In September, I spent $300 on food. I live by myself. That's ridiculous. I decided to commit to reducing that bill and did so by 1/2 in October, spending $150 on food. I shopped at a different grocery store with a great bulk section and limited my purchase of specialty foods, like vegan 'meat', 'dairy', and 'cheese'.

This month, I'm being ever cognizant of the economic impact my food decisions have. It's amazing how we can be careless with our food dollars. It's the most empowering and important daily decision we make and too often, we make bad ones! Or at least I have, maybe you're perfect!

The genesis to a better sense of how much I spend on food comes from contributing to Plant Based on a Budget and working with the founder, Toni. In fact, she and other contributors are putting together weekly shopping lists and menus for singles, a two-person household, and a family of four...all for $25/person/week. You can check it out here.

I don't have disposable income, but in terms of my food decisions, I have been living as if I do. With the recipes I create or adapt, I'm really pleased that they are affordable, delicious and, more importantly, they enable people to eat more plant-based foods. This is a win-win.

Here's my most recent contribution - risotto with kale. Fancy sounding, but really affordable. I do a lot of cooking with my slow cooker, so this recipe is adapted for that.

I'm aware that not everyone will be able to find these ingredients - you can adapt this recipe to suit ingredient availability. For example, instead of arborio rice, use any other rice and make it a rice dish instead. If you don't have access to kale - look for frozen spinach or any fresh, dark leafy greens. I was only able to get organic kale so if you buy conventional kale, it will probably be cheaper.

Cost (note: I purchased these items at a northern California discount supermarket)
* Arborio rice: $0.75 (for 1.5 cups), buy it in bulk if possible otherwise price is much steeper
* Organic kale: $1.47 (for a bunch, they only had organic)
* Garlic: $0.20 cents (for 5 cloves)
* Bouillon cubes: 0.33
Total: $2.75
Cost per serving: $0.46

RECIPE HERE

A Canine Like No Other

Twelve years ago, Mina play-bowed her way into my heart and home.

Today, we celebrate 12 years together. And, we celebrate Mina's 15th birthday. I'm sorry I missed those formative years!

Mina circa 2005, no gray hairs to be seen!

Mina used to drive me insane. I would go on walks at odd hours to avoid other people and their dogs. She never listened to me (still doesn't). Three very qualified trainers notified me that Mina was Mina and basically her sassy, bad attitude was just her.

Having a dog who resembles a Pit Bull (and in Mina's case IS a Pit Bull) toughened my then (okay mostly still) sensitive nature. Want to rent a home? Good luck! Want to get homeowner's insurance? Ha! Want to live in Denver? Don't. Want people to run across the street in fear of your 45-lb dog? Yes! Want people to tell you your dog should just die already? Good times!

Things have improved for Pit Bulls and their guardians. Mina has done her part by not eating anyone or robbing any banks. This past Halloween, 200 children flocked to my home for candy. And Mina was ready to greet every single one of them. A young girl asked what kind of dog she was and when she learned she was a Pit Bull, I didn't have to cringe. "I LOVE those kinds of dogs!" she piped up. No parents pulling their child away. No kids screaming in abject horror. Just a sweet dog meeting some sweet kids (enjoying some sweet vegan candy). No big deal.

When Mina was 8.5 years old, I brought home a 7-week-old puppy from Mexico. I planned on fostering her until she found a good home. That is, until Mina took one look at her and declared her family. Mina put up with sharp needle teeth and reveled in having a play-mate. I loved Mina even more.

Before Celeste sprouted legs 

As Mina has aged, her body has declined. And yet, I love her even more. She was diagnosed with mast cell cancer at the beginning of this year. My heart shattered, put itself back together, and was determined to get larger with the love it has for Mina. Just last night, I had a moment in which I thought my gut and heart would reach capacity, that all the joy, tears, sadness, frustration, fierceness, devotion I feel for Mina would explode forth. She leaned against me and sighed. Somehow, someway, I made a little more room in my spirit and body for this little 35-lb dog.

Mina turns 15 today. She celebrates fifteen glorious years of squirrel chasing, fence fighting, rough-housing, leash reactivity, belly rubs, awkward sleeping positions, snuggles, deep thoughts and intense staring contests. Okay, mostly I celebrate, but Mina is getting some puppy cupcakes today so she's probably happy too.

To be clear, I never once believed I could love a nonhuman the way I love Mina. When I look at her, it takes every ounce of restraint not to immediately envelop her in a massive bear hug. When I hear her searching through the house - having lost me once again - I want to rush out to her and tell her "I am here. You are here. We are here!" When I watch her struggle to jump in the car or up on the bed, a little part of my soul designated Mina cracks and re-attaches. When she picks me over barking dogs, I feel pretty honored.

I tried to grieve her death when she was diagnosed with cancer, so certain that every new tumor spelled disaster. She has 24 tumors now. They are impossible to remove and I will never put her through the surgeries - she had one when she was diagnosed, six tumors removed (several more discovered). Her recovery was slow and painful, her stoicism and pain tolerance hurt to witness. It wouldn't be right or fair. So I tried to reconcile my love with the deep grief I feel when I think of her death. I imagine her absence, because it will happen. Eleven months later, I have met with little success in terms of grieving her loss to this world. Fail!

Mina is:

• An excellent kisser (though her breath is horrifying)
• A board-approved Snuggler
• Still young enough to fence fight for 5 seconds with the neighbor's JRTs
• A fan of small dogs and puppies
• An excellent soul gazer
• Great at parties involving food
• Awesome
• Certain she can take on the 100-lb dog-aggro Newfoundland at the house on the corner
• Proud of her ability to take on paper bags and freaking win
• A fan of food
• Okay with her sister but wish she'd play more bitey-face
• Getting slow and old but still way too sassy
• Currently okay with UPS delivery people and electricians
• A Canine Like No Other

Love ya, Mina. I hope to achieve 50% of your patience and forgiveness. You are practically at Level 500.

Age 6 + unripened cantaloupe

Age 7, conversations with shrubbery

Age 6 - laps, her favorite spot

Damn beautiful dog

I swear, she's a pointer!

Age 11 - perfecting her noble look

SERIOUS 

Yes, this really happened.

ZOMG YOU ARE HUGE HOWIE

My favorite dog and favorite cow. Love!

Age 4! Playing with a Cocker Spaniel

Geez, you are so white.

Haha, I'm just kidding. Pit Bulls don't eat Boxers.

True story: This got stuck on her mouth and she had to go to the emergency vet. Sad.

That one time when Mina let kittens nurse off of her 

After her surgery - never again.

Old and perfect.

Has a damn meadow named after her.

Mina's victory - Celeste sitting on her

Motherfucking canine love of my life, yo

How Can You Want to Eat Him?

 Tongue!

I can't believe people eat animals like Nicholas. Really, I just can't. I could no more look at Nicholas and want to eat him than I could at Mina and want to eat her. I extrapolate to other bovines and other dogs, because that is how I roll.

Liveblogging Halloween 2013

I'm back, getting ready for the hordes of adorable children. Mina's ready - she's on costume 2 and waiting for kids, because then she gets cookies.

Countdown begins.

6:00 pm: I hear the first trick or treaters coming. Exciting times. First timer using a Safeway plastic bag, way to recycle and reuse, kid. 5 kids in a herd. Power ranger, witch, person with a mask.

6:07: Next group! Four kids. This is a very business like group. No shenanigans from these children. A dead cheerleader, I think, and I have no clue what the others are. Mina ignores them completely in favor of peeing on some dirt.

6:12: Solo 8-yr-old skeleton. 

Skeleton: What are YOU supposed to be? *points to me*

Me: Uh, superhero on casual Friday?

Skeleton: It's not Friday!

Me: Oh.

Skeleton: Okay, I'll take the candy now.

All I've got on is a wonderwoman top and cape and regular jeans. Kids don't appreciate workplace humor. Or probably it wasn't funny, except in my head.

6:14: Cutest 2-yr-old ninja turtle ever. I wish I had got a picture, because Mina stood squarely next to him, surveying the court, tail wagging as he gently stroked her head. Then he invited her to continue trick or treating and she was all, okay sure. But then, the leash. Sadness for all.

6:20 pm: Two kids with glasses and suspenders. What are you? Nerds. What? Nerds are awesome, btw.

6:25: Someone wearing a fake deer head, I didn't even ask. Mad artist girl is my favorite so far. Mina just likes that she gets a cookie for every kid and is encouraging more children. 

6:27: CLOWN! Normally I am a firm believer that clowns are evil, but this was the most polite clown ever, so he's okay.

6:28: First injury of the night, a cowboy trips over Mina and falls on his face. But he's okay because he just missed a house and is extra excited about getting more candy from a house he didn't know existed.

6:30 pm: half-hearted attempt at being a mummy involves wearing black spandex and half a roll of toilet paper. Also, she couldn't stop laughing at Mina in her outfit, which left Mina deeply troubled and offended.

6:32 pm: An infant dressed up as a duck. Oh, parents. If you're kid can't eat solids, don't take them trick or treating. Just kidding, because that duck was cute. I gave him a couple dum dums. Or her. Sorry.

6:45: Another horde, they travel in packs!! A toddler dressed as a dog is Mina's favorite! But the ladybug toddler is cute too. And then there was a miniature Thor, and that's pretty adorable.

None are as adorable as Mina, though.

6:53: A young girl reminds me of the bravery level required to go solo up to a person's front door. I think she's dressed as an elf, shaking like a leaf, and being so so so so brave. I used to send my dad to get my candy when I was scared.

7:09: We have exceeded the 70th kid mark, people! One kid with a spiked helmet totally fell in love with Mina and kissed her on the head and she was like "I get five cookies for that". A little girl dressed up as a princess wearing a pink hoodie proudly proclaimed THANK YOU and then turned to her mom and screamed, 'SEE?!? I SAID THANK YOU" and all was well with the world.

Mina knows where to hang out:

7:17: A witch chirped, "See you next year!!" Oh man, kids on Halloween are great because they are learning about saying thanks and the future and ZOMG CANDY capitalism.

7:21: Kid dressed as "an Amish person" (their words) carrying a maglite, no candy bag. Where do you keep your candy? In my pockets! How's that working out for you? EXCELLENTLY!

7:25 pm: Girl dressed as a witch, "Is that a real dog?" Blank stare from me. "Costume?" she adds quietly. "Oh, yes." I reply.

7:26 pm: Kid dressed as superman with a sucker in his mouth, "Can I psuehhioeah her?" Huh? "Can I psuehgehi her?" Oh, can you pet her? YETH? Yes. K. *pets Mina* Kid then tries to run across lawn and all the parents yell, "NO RUNNING" and this is good because 3-yr-olds with lollipops in their mouth definitely should not be running on my tree-root front yard.

7:37 pm: "Is that all you have?", an affronted child asks. "I can take it back, yes?" "HAHA JUST KIDDING" the kid yells back. Geez.

7:51 pm: Times are a changing for Pit Bulls. A girl asks to pet Mina. After I say yes, she asks what kind of dog Mina is. Her friend pipes up, "She's a Pit Bull" before I can say anything. The other girl gazes up at me, smiles, and says "I LOVE those kinds of dogs". The other girl tells me about her companion Pit Bull and how she looks like Mina but is bigger. Five years ago, I don't think this interaction would have happened. I would probably not allow Mina to come out of the house on leash to interact with the kids. She would have still dressed up, but I would have kept her away from the kids out of fear the parents would get upset. Now, in this neighborhood in Grass Valley, CA, I don't have that fear. Mina goes out and says hi, I pull her back in if the kids don't want to interact, and let her get pet if they do. She thinks it's a win-win - attention from little people (her favorite) and a cookie aftewards. Good times.

8:08 pm: So many children. So many.

8:13 pm: We just hit the 200th kid. Cray.

Nicholas is Handsome

I'm not even lying, Nicholas is super handsome.

I met Nicholas when he was less than a week old. He was stolen from his mother. It's normal business on a dairy farm, maternal deprivation. To sell milk to you requires stealing milk from him. Can't have a calf drinking his own mother's milk!

He was bought at auction for $15, tied up outside of an apartment complex in Berkeley, and left with hay.

You do know what a day-old calf needs, right? His mom and her milk! Ruminants, like cattle, cannot consume hay at such a young age - literally, they cannot do it.

Nicholas spent several weeks in my office. It was the middle of winter when he arrived so darkness enveloped the sanctuary each morning when I would arrive for work. I would creep into the office and step carefully, quietly over his snoozing form. I made his bottles and fed him his milk, admired his soft down fur, and wished with all my heart that he could have his own mother. She should be raising him.

For the next four years, Nicholas was a terror. Not in an evil way, just in an I-Am-A-Teenager-Forevah way. He would kick his heels up and race towards any human he saw. Sometimes he would randomly kick out his back leg, and then flee the scene in joy. Humans were more toys than "someones".

It has only been in the past two years that he has come into his own sense of maturity. It takes bovines nearly five years to reach their adult size. They remain "babies" for 1-2 years, enter their teens for the next 3-5, and then calm down.

If he had been raised by his own mother, he would have learned respect a lot sooner. No human can replace a bovine mother and teach what needs to be taught.

When Nicholas and the other cows are in the pasture near the parking lot at the sanctuary where I work, I will slip into the meadow and find Nicholas. He will be eating grass and will pretend he does not notice me. Some mornings he will lift his head and acknowledge me, other mornings he won't. I lean into him and rub his neck, his back, the inside of his fuzzy ears. Some mornings, Nicholas will walk away - food is more interesting. Most mornings, I will know he accepts my presence when he leans, ever so gently, into my body. Peace.

The Mina Show: Serious Business

Being Mina is Serious Business.

The Celeste Show: Catch That Treat

 Celeste loves food like whoa. There is no food she will not try at least once, often twice just to be sure.

This is one of her favorite peanut butter treats. I couldn't catch any action shots of her snapping up the treat, but this photo captures the essence of Celeste - obsessed, focused, weird.

I love her for it.

The Mina Show: Need and Growing Old

Mina needs me like a fish needs water.

This is not my ego piping up. It is simple fact.

I do not think I was the first person to ever show Mina love and a kind touch. I like to think this, because the alternative is unbearable - three long years as a breeding machine without any human kindness. That is unconscionable. So I believe that someone liked her enough to rub the space between her eyes, to scratch the arch of her neck.

In recent years, Mina's need of me has grown, almost exponentially. Her faculties, on the other hand, have declined. She will sometimes race from room to room, panicked nails clicking on wooden floors. She will investigate every nook and cranny, confused as to my "sudden departure". Finally, she will pop her head into the spare room (the office) and find me typing away. Her body will relax, she will hop up on the sofa, and curl up into a Mina-donut.

There are times when I find this comical. Mostly I am filled with great sadness and a strong, fervent desire to hold Mina close to my heart so that our breaths co-mingle and we are deeply connected. She does not care for this, so I do not do it.

Mina is approaching her 15th birthday, 12 of them spent alongside me and 6 with Celeste.

Because I am human and can ponder the future, I will sometimes find myself imagining life without Mina. The space she occupies in my heart is egregiously large, painfully so. It is a tangible thing that presses against arteries and veins, pinches nerves. The absence of her is virtually unimaginable, but I try to fathom it anyways.

I don't know the why of my relationship with Mina. It is different than my bond with Celeste. It is even different than the friendship I shared with my first dog, Juju (who Mina slept next to for one night). It is different than my relationship with most people, because it is a sure, certain thing. There is no doubt, no fear of a friendship ending with Mina. Whatever our relationship isn't, it IS unconditional. She forgives me my impatience and sudden bursts of anger. I forgive her her sassy fence fighting and unyielding stubbornness.

When I look into her amber eyes, I see someone looking back. Someone who is trying to comprehend me in perhaps the same way I her. Someone who gets jealous and angry and can be ugly. Someone who gives so much love and hopes for a little in return. Someone who loves to sniff a blade of grass for fifteen minutes longer than any rational dog should. Someone who can't race around the backyard with her sister, but who will still play bitey-face in the morning.

Someone who curls up next to me and sighs the sigh of someone who has come home.