Tuesday, February 21, 2012

A translation for your benefit

This article is totes hilarious. That is different than the situation being funny, because it wasn't. An idiot walking his dog was confronted by a police officer after he crossed the street illegally. Instead of just stopping and being like "crap, mr. policeman, I'm sorry" the dude ran. And he dropped his dog's leash.

But what would be a Pit Bull article without a little drama? NOT NEWS, that's what.

In fact, the title of the whole article is "Suspect sics dog on officer". Now if you're me, this suggests a dog on human attack. Nothing of the kind happened, but again, a Pit Bull article is only the awesome if there is some epic stuff going on.

For example, "ordered the animal to bite the pursuing officer by saying "Sic him!" according to Krewson.The officer was able to outrun the dog"

Have you EVER been able to outrun a healthy, adult dog? Like ever?

I have. It has occurred under the following circumstances:
1. I have outrun a dog who did not chase me.
2. I have outrun a dog walking.
3. I have outrun a dog going in the opposite direction.
4. I have outrun a dog on a 6' lead when I was already 10' away.

I have not, however, attempted to or succeeded at outrunning a dog chasing after me at his full, healthy stride.

My theory is that the dog did not actually try to chase the officer but trotted after because, hey, his guardian went in the same direction so why  not follow?

The officer ended up cornering the suspect who was acting a fool and got himself tased.

Then multiple officers arrived. AND CHAOS ENSUED.

"By that time multiple officers were at the scene, and feared the dog might try to protect its owner and attack the police when they detained Gonzalez, Krewson said. The officers were able to "ruse the dog away from" Gonzalez, and into a patrol car before hand-cuffing Gonzalez"

Translation: Officer was all "get in my car" and dog was all "yep, sounds fabulous."

The only individual who posed a threat to anyone was the person, not the dog. A story without a Pit Bull acting neurotic is not a real story, though.

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