Saturday, October 31, 2009

Quad-City Times, keeping the sexism alive

So there's these two loose dogs. A man, A MAN, is able to get the dogs to come to him with biscuits. He chained up one dog, while the other remained loose. He calls police.

And they send one female police officer. What? Are living in the 21st century or something? Clearly this was a job for a man. The sole woman officer realized the error of her joining the police force and called animal control. Animal control sent one female officer. Holy crap, what has this world come to when the only officers to respond to a loose dog call are WOMEN who cannot handle things like dogs or catch poles or, you know, doing their job or something. MEN CAN BECAUSE MEN HAVE GUNS AND PENISES.

According to the man who called police, "it never would have happened, he said, if one woman had not been sent alone".

That's right! She should have had a male escort, preferably a relative, and she probably should have been wearing a burka. The dogs would have sensed her sensitive, femininity and respected that. The man could have stepped in and handled those two dogs.


Anyway, so according to the male witness, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE AND THE ANIMAL CONTROL OFFICER WAS EATEN ALIVE. Probably for being a woman. And by eaten alive, I mean she suffered two puncture wounds to her calf.



Reading that article was painful for my eyes. Sure, one person was ill-equipped to deal with these dogs, maybe.

But let me share a story with you.

Back in the day I was a volunteer at a large county dog and cat shelter. I loved it. One day, I said to myself - self, you are ready to take that intact Lab and intact Rottweiler out by yourself to the exercise area BECAUSE YOU ARE A SUCKER FOR PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT. But I neglected to listen to the caps section of my self.

So there I was with two large, intact, male, hormonal, idiot dogs. And what should happen? The Lab got pissed off that the Rottweiler was sniffing HIS GRASS. So they duked it out. Of course, I happened to be standing right between them. The Rottie ripped open my pant leg, biting me. The Lab managed to avoid eating me and hit his target, the black and tan dog currently confusing my pant leg for another dog. The Lab got the Rottie by the throat and had him pinned to the ground and I'm all HOLY CRAP I FAIL AT LIFE.

When out of nowhere, my heroine arrived. She was an animal control officer half my size. As she ran into the exercise area, I got out of her way (otherwise she would have shoved me out of the way). She picked up that 90lb Lab like he was made of cotton candy and when that Rottweiler made to go after the now-dangling retriever, she gave him the look of death, stopping him in his tracks.


Now if SHE had been the sole woman animal control officer to arrive on the scene, she would have kicked those two pit bulls' asses. They would not have bit her calf, because they would be dangling by the scruffs of their necks. I realize not all ACO's are as bad-ass as my ACO. And that's fine.

But please, Quad City Times, get with the times. Your sexism is underwhelming and unappreciated. By me, mainly, but maybe by other women and enlightened menfolk.

1 comment:

emilyandLulu said...

but, hey! the boyz got to play with their toyz:
"Police fired two shots at the dog, but it didn't go anywhere until they hit it with a Taser. "