Houston, we have a pit bull burglary problem!

This news article about a "pit bull burglar" could have been so much more enjoyable if not for the "WHAT IF MY CHILD HAD BEEN AT HOME HE WOULD HAVE DIED FOR SURE" reactions from the mother. Why would your little child be alone in a home with an unlocked door? *ahem*

A dog is running loose and has been for days. He keeps scratching at doors, leaving his tracks for all the world to see.

Then it happens! He gains entry because in this neighborhood the preferred method of protecting yourself from thievery is to leave your door unlocked and so damaged that a 50lb dog could nose his way inside.

Waiting for him inside are two small bite sized snacks! I mean, two very adorable canine playmates. Sorry, I got distracted - Pit Bulls are supposed to eat other dogs, especially little ones. Anyway, the trio played for an hour until animal control arrived.

Animal control meandered right into the house through the same unlocked, crappy door and WAS EATEN ALIVE BY THE PIT BULL. Wait. Oh, I see, he was safely leashed and walked (albeit with that classic emotastic look) to the animal control officer's van.

Clearly this pit bull is not living up to his breed's standards of MAYHEM and MURDER.

Mina says she's ready to take him out if he doesn't start living up to his name sake PIT BULL KILLAH, she is ninja-ghetto-fabulous:

Well, scratch that, he DID pee in the lady's house and chew on some of her DVDs. That's pretty awful. I guess Mina will have to settle for eating my face off for making her wear a ninja costume. It's fair, really.