We're back in 2012 for an epic adventure of Mina trying to convince children to take her home with them. This has been her dream for eleven years, so maybe tonight is the night!
6:00 pm - FIRST TRICK OR TREATERS.
6:10 pm: Butterfly shows up and politely asks to pet Mina. Mina says yes. Mother rushes over, "I must take a picture, you don't see a butterfly and ladybug together often enough!" Truth! Evidentiary material now exists on someone's phone that butterflies and ladybugs can coexist. Brother Tiger not so impressed as Butterfly and refuses to take pictures with Mina. Boo.
This is basically Mina between trick-or-treaters. I can't tell you how much Mina loves children, it's kinda gross.
6:20 pm - Mina once again tries to leave with a princess. Princess more interested in candy but does politely pet Mina.
6:26 pm - Fierce lioness exclaims, "She's dressed like a ladybug!!!!" Yes, I reply. "Mom!!! This dog is dressed up as a LADYBUG!!!" Mom not impressed. "MOOOOMMM! A Ladybug! Did you hear me?" Yes, cute, get your candy. Grumpy moms for the win!
6:31 pm - Football Player reacts in horror upon seeing Mina. HORROR. Flees three feet backwards and I have to wander outdoors waving candy at him so he would realize the risk of Mina eating him don't outweigh the benefit of getting candy.
6:33 pm - Ninja tells brother Batman to say thank you. Batman gazes up at me with big, blue eyes. And walks off. "You tried." I tell Ninja. Ninja is silent. In a ninja way.
6:40 pm - Mina barked at Harry Potter. WTH, Mina?
6:46 pm - "It's the dog again!!!" - An admirer from last year. Mina gazes forlornly after her, wishing for a princess of her very own. Geez, thanks Mina!
6:48 pm - "You dressed your dog up!" Yes. "Why?" It's her favorite holiday. *blank stare* Her friend, a female Thor sees the look on my face and politely quips, "Nice house!" Big smile. Girl Thor is the best.
6:51 pm - Giraffe waves goodbye to Mina.
As always, I feel a small sense of evil glee that Mina - the ebil Pit Bull - is beautifully well-behaved, loves children, and my neighbor has to make sure her Labrador Retriever doesn't eat anyone (the dog got out one year and nearly attacked several children). It's not right, I know.
6:57 pm - A giant rubber ducky scares Mina. She politely trots back inside, so as not to offend. She comes back out when she hears a toddler princess. But then the princess pokes her in the eye, so she politely trots back inside again. Mina should probably raise children for a living.
7:07 pm - A lot of "male" children dressed up as "female" characters - this is more than I've ever seen, which makes me happy. And a bit sad that children only get this day during the year that "male" children get to dress up in "feminine" clothing without fear of judgment. I hope this changes.
7:08 pm - Glenda the good witch blesses Mina with her wand. Mina is all I AM A LADYBUG, LADY, but accepts the blessing nevertheless.
7:20 pm - Little kid tries to leap out and surprise me, and then leaps two feet back when he sees Mina. "DOG!" Mina stares at him. And wags her tail. She thinks he is the bees knees. Or the ladybug's, if they have knees. He is not so sure, but he comes forward for some lollipops.
7:25 pm - Mina sees a Boston Terrier - YOU ARE NOT DRESSED UP, BASTARD. Boston Terrier is all WUT? I AM A TUXEDO and then he laughs maniacally. Bwahaha. Children still pet Mina, despite her ill behavior towards the Tuxedo. One girl does tell Mina "Get back, dog!" and MIna does.
7:32 pm: Serious conversations.
Red witch: You like dogs don't you?
Me: Um, yeah?
Red witch: Because you have paintings of them on the wall.
Me: Oh! Yes, those are my dogs.
RW: Where's your other dog?
Me: She's afraid and hiding.
RW: And what is this dog's name?
RW: And how old is she?
RW: And how many dogs do you have?
Me: Um. Yes.
Dad: Red Witch! Come along. *to me* Sorry, she'll move into your house if you open the door wider.
7:40 pm: Mina sees another Pit Bull dressed up as a hot dog and is all, Wut? The other dog is all Wut?
I'm all, it's like my bed-time, why are your children out so late?!?
7:45 pm: Unknown-outfit child - "It's the ladybug dog!!" as if she's seen Mina as a ladybug before! Everyone pets Mina, and then get candy, and say thank you. One girl looks me straight in the eye, "I like your dog," she says softly. Mina is all over that like white on rice and implores the child to take her home because she is being abused with costumes. Alas, the child wanders off.
7:47 pm: Mina has given up on a child taking her home, she is now solacing herself with a big bowl of V-dog, of which she is a fan.
Are we done yet?
8:01 pm: Mina is no longer interested in getting up from the couch. Evidence: