Saturday, March 26, 2011

Why Won't Omaha Be Consistent?

Dear Omaha,

Now that Labrador Retrievers have taken over as the top human-eater in your town for two years in a row, are you planning on muzzling them?

I mean, that would only be logical, amirite? Like how you required Pit Bulls (defined as any dog you think looks strange) in 2009 to be muzzled, harnessed and their owners to have lots of insurance?

You can do the same with Labrador Retrievers!

Here is my proposed law to match your Pit Bull law. It should be easy to codify, since you already have language on the books. Just replace Pit Bull with Labrador Retriever and define Labrador Retriever in the same way you do Pit Bulls.

First, modify Section 6-163. to include TWO sections 6-163a. for the Pit Bulls and 6-163b. for the Labs.

Sec. 6-163.  Labrador Retrievers --Leash and muzzle required.
It shall be unlawful for any person owning, harboring or having the care of a labrador retriever to permit such animal to be outdoors unless confined in a securely fenced yard or unless the animal is under the control of a person 19 years of age or older, restrained securely by a harness and leash no longer than six feet and properly muzzled to reasonably prevent the animal from biting, provided that the harness and muzzle requirements apply only to those retrievers six months of age or older.
For purposes of this section, labrador retriever shall be defined as any dog that is a Labrador Retriever, Flat-coated Retriever, Golden Retriever, Chesapeake Bay Retriever, Curly-Coated Retriever, or any dog displaying the majority of physical traits of any one or more of the above breeds (more so than any other breed), or any dog exhibiting those distinguishing characteristics which substantially conform to the standards established by the American Kennel Club or United Kennel Club for any of the above breeds. The A.K.C. and U.K.C. standards for the above breeds are on file in the office of the animal control authority.
Provided that a retriever which is a participant in an organized dog event approved by the authority shall not be required to be leashed and muzzled while outdoors and being shown or otherwise actively competing in such event.
(Ord. No. 38257, § 17, 9-30-08; Ord. No. 38867, § 2, 11-2-10)

You will see a magical reduction in Labrador Retriever bites almost immediately. And then whichever breed takes over the number one spot, well you can muzzle them too!!


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