Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Mina Still Has Cancer And She Doesn't Give A Fuck

Mina has new lumps. They are probably cancer. Mina doesn't give a fuck.

Mina has a limp that keeps reoccurring more frequently than in the past. I try to lift her in and out of the car, up and off the bed. She huffs and puffs her annoyance, because Mina just doesn't give a fuck.

Mina gets even more tired than previously. Sometimes just sitting in my office causes her to start panting. While I try to cool her off, Mina continues not giving a fuck.

Mina sleeps more deeply and dreams of things that make her paws twitch. I wake her up and envelop her with a hug. She gives me a kiss, then falls back asleep...not giving a fuck.

I give a fuck, because that's my job as Mina's caregiver. I kind of wish Mina would care a little more, but that's her right. It is hard, just being with her and trying not to care. She isn't going to live another decade. She may not live the rest of the year. I'm not being melodramatic writing that, by the way. I'm just verbalizing what I am coming to terms with regarding Mina.

And here is Mina panting in the sun, smiling, with barely any teeth, 14.5-yrs-old and with a lot of not giving a fuck. I hope she inspires you.

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