Thursday, January 27, 2011

Around the Intarwebz

Rooster being fought decides to kill the man forcing him to fight because what's a better use for those 4-6" blades strapped to his legs? FOWL PLAY! HA!

Aberdeen is acting all crazy reactive and wants to ban Pit Bulls. Why? Because instead of two attacks, there were ZOMG EIGHT. CALL OUT THE NATIONAL GUARD. Guess what? ALL DOG bites increased, and at pretty much the same rate as Pit Bulls. ZOMG CALL OUT THE LOCAL STATISTICIANS.  Aberdeen has like 24,000 people in it, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say eight bites from Pit Bulls is not statistically significant, unless there are like only eight Pit Bulls in Aberdeen. I care about you, dog bite victims, I do. I just happen to care about ALL of you, not just those bitten by dogs who look a certain way! My compassion knows no dog breed!

Max, a Pit Bull mix, got really annoyed when three armed robbers tried to kill his human. So he pulled a Hooch, knocked one over and just stood atop him...unfortunately forgetting that whole gun thing. The jerkwad shot the dog three times, but Max is super-dog and will recover fully! Go Team Max! It's not just the big dogs helping out their guardians - Baby Girl, a small service dog, came to her guardian's defense when a burglar was choking him. She suffered a few broken ribs but the burglar ran off, and the dog will be fine.

Broward County is FINALLY changing it's draconic BITE U DIE law. Dogs now have a second chance if they bite another dog or person before a death sentence is doled out. Some dogs may still be killed after their first bite. The case stems from a really stupid situation in which an idiot owner let their poodle run loose. The poodle ran up to a leashed Husky and attacked her. The Husky defended herself and ended up killing the dog. Under the law, the dog was sentenced to DEATH FOR DEFENDING HERSELF, what is wrong with you people? Luckily, the Husky is back with her guardians and the law has been changed so that dogs are not needlessly killed.

Dog Bites

A Labrador Retriever and a Bulldog mix began attacking a woman after she got into a fight with another person. Police were called. They came upon the woman with the two dogs on top of her. Then the dogs started fighting one another and finally decided to attack the police officer. At which  point, he drew his gun and shot the dogs, killing the Lab and injuring the Bulldog. The owners have a looooong history of letting their dogs run loose and "menacing" people. Apparently in Seattle, if you're dogs get loose eight times, it's totally awesome!

Oh noes, Skippy the Golden Retriever is on the death row because of his idiot owner! I say idiot, because he is. Back in the day, Skippy tried to eat the face of his owner's grandaughter. Or maybe just taste it. Whatever, it required more than a dozen stitches and plastic surgery. The town was all neuter your dog and keep him quarantined and the idiot owner was all, sure. Except he did neither and the dog bit the same kid again. WHERE WERE THE PARENTS, GEEZ. Now the dog faces a death sentence because his idiot owner let him bite twice and run loose on multiple occasions. I hope Skippy is saved and someone other than an idiot gets him.

A German Shepherd went on a rampage. For reals. He was left tied up outside a supermarket in the SAFEST PROVINCE IN CANADA called Ontario. The dog then proceeded to try and eat a 16-yr-old girl. Failing that, he succeeded in sorta eating a 66-yr-old man, causing 20 stitches worth of damage in the neck/face region. He gave a half-hearted chomp to another woman before his glaringly idiotic owner came back out and left the scene. Seriously Ontario, your ban on Pit Bulls is so effective that other dogs have to make up for the lack of Pit Bull bites by attacking multiple people at once. Geez, way to make life more difficult for the dogs.

Another German Shepherd allowed to run loose bit a young boy. His owner, a real gem of a man, saw the injuries to the boy and was all "YOU ARE FINE" and walked off. Nice!

Say you are a retired police officer living it up real nice in Carmel, California where the median home price is $1.1 million, except you're actually in Carmel, Indiana so sad, too bad. Anyway, you're living it up in middle class Carmel when your neighbors two dogs break into your yard while your standing there with a loaded pistol (who doesn't water the roses with gun cocked and ready, right?). And then one of the dogs bites your pant leg. Obviously you shoot the ground in front of the dog. Duly impressed, the dog heads back home. Now you are in SUPER trouble because in Carmel, IN you can only shoot your loaded pistol if a dog is trying to kill you, farm animals or eat your neighbors winnebago. More importantly, if you shoot your gun, you have to actually try and kill the animal. Chewing on your pant-leg may be a precursor to killing you, but if you're not firing a fatal shot, obviously you aren't dead and therefore you can be fined instead of hailed as a modern-day hero for great self-restraint in the face of a dog attached to your leg. Or so the story goes.

An Akita attacked a young girl causing non life-threatening injuries. The dog was killed.

Sheep are already a concerned lot, so please do not let your large Norwegian Elkhound worry them! For reals, we don't want emo sheep!!

A little girl is recovering well after being bitten in the face by a Doberman. In an amazingly dumb move, the family and friends of the child allowed her to try and play with a friend's Doberman when the dog told the kid to shove it, but with his teeth. Thankfully it was only one bite and the child will survive with minimal scarring, thanks to the paramedics and surgeons. But geez, don't let your toddler play with a big dog, especially one who does not belong to you. Disaster.

The owner of a Japanese Spitz mix in Singapore has been fined $3,000 after his dog went all Rambo on two other dogs and the dogs' owner. Niu Niu attacked the man's Labrador Retriever AND Jack Russell Terrier, then bit the owner's foot when he tried to intervene. The foot later got infected, because dog bites are gross.

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