Dear World

Dear World,

My name is Mina and I have been abused in the worst possible way today.

I am uncertain who came up with the silly notion that dogs need to be "clean". The fact of the matter is that we are clean. When you douse us in stupid soapy crap, we become smelly and subsequently must roll in fifty cow poop piles or dead things in order to be clean and spiffy again.

I mean, I know I look good. But when do I not? I'm 14 and look about 2.5. Or 10. Whatever, the points is that I look awesome with or without ten layers of grime.

With a lot of annoyance,

Mina