Best of This Week's Police Blotter

THE WINNER
Psychic Network Fail: 1:26 p.m. — A woman reported having a vision that the Nevada Woods apartments on Old Tunnel Road were burning down. The apartments were not burning.

The rest:


Anti Patriotism Rears Its Ugly Head: 8:12 a.m. — A person from the 200 block of East Main Street reported the theft of an American flag.

Edward Scissorhands Strikes Again: 10:08 a.m. — A caller from the 100 block of Race Street reported someone had cut back landscaping.

Speed Limit: 2 mph! 12 p.m. — A caller from Spring Hill Drive reported a person driving a cart on the sidewalk too fast.

Where my painkillers at?  3:05 p.m. — A woman reported her grandmother had been prescribed Vicodin for a year, but had never received the medication.

If the Name Fits: 5:24 p.m. — A caller from the 400 block of Nimrod Street reported shooting on vacant land behind the baseball diamond.

Dude, Where's My Exclamation Point At? 7:53 a.m. — A caller from Main and Alta streets reported a man followed a woman in his vehicle and tried to pull her into the vehicle. She pulled away and screamed “Leave me alone.”

It's Christine All Over Again:  9:47 p.m. — A caller reported a “muscle car” had been racing through North San Juan for several nights. The California Highway Patrol was advised.

Geez, Leave Us On A Cliffhanger:  8:15 a.m. — An officer found “a pool of blood” in the Commercial Street parking lot. A case number was issued.