Is that a cat on my sofa?

<---- Celeste's opinion on cats.

I don't want to get into the nitty-gritty details, but the general story is that a neighbor has a cat who is primarily an outdoor cat. This cat loves me and I her. My dogs smell my illicit affair with this cat every time I pet her or hold her or tell her she is the most beautiful cat in the world.

I call this cat Eco-Bella for no other reason than the name sounds appealing.

Eco-Bella has the misfortune of being owned by someone who thinks leaving a cat outdoors for four days at a time is perfectly acceptable. She is also owned by someone who clearly failed to realize that Eco-Bella is not street smart, like at all.

Case in point: Every single morning, she is sitting right in front of my door meowing pitifully. And every single morning, Mina and Celeste become Avengers of Cat-Scratched Dogs Everywhere.

Mina and Celeste are, at the very least, not screaming fools when it comes to being Avengers of Cat-Scratched Dogs Everywhere. They stare really hard at Eco-Bella and sometimes lunge, but mainly stare. Blessedly, they respond to my leave it commands and can walk within a foot of Eco-Bella without eating her.

Eco-Bella is, as I mentioned, not street smart. Or dog smart. When I open the door with my two very large (to her) dogs, she stands up, moves a few feet away and ponders what move she will make next. As Celeste decides between the Big Pounce or the Head-Butt and as Mina glares intently in a special way, Eco-Bella arches her back and hisses, then meows, then hisses. I tell her shoo! and she gives me the Huh? look. I tell her Bad Cat, Go! and she gives me the Huh? look. Only when Mina gets within a foot of her does she respond appropriately and dash off into the sunset.

This cat is very lucky both my dogs are always leashed for their potty breaks. Otherwise Eco-Bella would most likely no longer be in this world and, to be honest, this world is better off having Eco Bella in it.

Now, back to the title of this post.

This morning started out as it has for the past month since Eco-Bella's idiot owner moved in. I crack the door open, see the cat, tell the cat to shoo, cat gets closer to the door and moving snouts of my overeager dogs. I close door, turn to my dogs, and tell them they are both Very Bad and I Love them Very Much. Stay, I say, then open the door again, slide out onto the breezeway entrance, scoop cat up and place her twenty feet away. I attempt to outpace her back to the door where I grab the dogs, turn around to find cat three feet away, let the dogs out hoping their leashes don't magically break, and face the cat. Cat runs away, Mina and Celeste snort and huff and sigh at their misfortune at not eating the cat.

I forget to close door because, well, there's this whole Cat Thing I have to deal with.

I come back up steps with dogs leading the way, yelling Tally-Ho where's my fox-cat!?! Pause at top of steps, peer into breezeway entrance leading to my door, sigh in relief that cat has moved onto bigger and better things that don't involve nearly getting smooshed by my dogs.

Walk into living room and stop suddenly in confusion and outright horror at the sight in front of me.

Cat is sitting on my sofa.

Dogs have not noticed cat is sitting on my (their) sofa. But they smell the intruder and are thoroughly investigating the carpet.

And then.

Cat is sitting on my sofa and meowing.

All hell breaks loose. Mina is outraged and appalled and wondering why a cat is sitting on HER freaking sofa. Celeste mishears the meow and faces my direction wondering if the cat is outside. I am once again thankful that they are both wearing leashes.

There is no point in discussing this issue with Mina - she is quietly angry, which is the worst kind really, and she is not going to debate the pros and cons of having a cat on her sofa. She is going eat the cat and maybe the sofa too, just to emphasize the wrongness of a cat on her sofa. Celeste is more responsive due to the fact she thinks the cat is outside and she can gleefully chase and pounce and chase some more. So I do an about face, dragging a very perturbed pit bull behind me while following a really eager muttskie in front of me.

The cat has already realized the error of her ways and follows us out.

And I imagine tomorrow morning, she will still be at the door meowing pitifully.

I will remember to shut the door.